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A few stories for you? 3 stories for you
1. A young man called Peter wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new
girlfriend.
As they hadn't been seeing other for very long, he decided after careful
consideration, that a pair of gloves would strike the right note, not
too romantic and not too personal.
He went with his girlfriend's sister to Harrods and bought a dainty pair
of white fur lined gloves, the sister bought a pair of knickers for
herself at the same time.
During the wrapping, the shop assistant mixed up the two items: the
sister got the gloves and Peter got the knickers.
Without checking, Peter sealed the package and sent it to his new
girlfriend with the following letter:
Dear Sasha,
I chose these because I've noticed that you have not been wearing any
when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your sister I
would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones
that are easier to remove.
These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed
me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were
hardly soiled at all.
I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even
though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that her pair
rubs her ring, which helps keep it clean and
shiny; in fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt
many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you
again. When you take them off, remember to blow into them a little bit
because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing.
Just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year.
I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.
All my love,
Peter.
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of
fur showing.
2. Paramedics got a call to assist with a woman in guybirth, only one
paramedic responded to the call.
Due to a power supply failure, the house was very, very dark,
so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl,
to hold a flashlight high over her Mummy so he could see while
he helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him his by his little feet and spanked him on his
bottom, Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed
3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded,
"He shouldn't have crawled in there in first place.........
smack him again." !!!!!
3. When four of Santa's elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not
produce the toys as fast as the regular ones, Santa was beginning to
feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit. This
stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were
about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out Heaven
knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and
the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the
elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his
frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into
hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten all the
bristles of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.
He opened the door, and there was a little Angel with a great big
Christmas tree.
The Angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a
lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to
stick it?"
And so began the tradition of the little Angel on top of the Christmas
tree. | MOST EXCELLENT!!!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR A GOOD LAUGH!!! | I need desperate help about this girl!!? Ok please help me, i am desperate.
I met this girl on xbox live about 2 months ago. (Don't care what you think, i just need help). Ok so i sent her a random message, we began talking and a friendship began, at first we proper proper hit it off. We really loved speaking to each other. We had 'phone sex' quite a lot and we both loved it.
We always talked to each other for about 2 months, we both admitted we loved each other and we wanted to live together and have guys and that. And we were being honest. I was proper romantic to her until yesterday, i can feel her slipping away from my grasp. But i have to admit, i doubted her a lot. Until yesterday.
Ok heres the story, her motto on xbox live was 'spanking,yes :D' so i had a word about it with her, she got proper pissed and i was inches off getting dumped. But i manged to get her to listen to me and she explained she hated me always being romantic and that i doubted her a lot. So i told i love you and will do anything to keep you, so i have. I have changed and i dont doubt her and all that no more. But since that yesterday, things feel different. A bit like she doesnt love me, i dont want to let go of her because i love her so much and she loves me. But it just feels different, what do you think i should do? | Forgive me, but it appears that you are obsessing about this girl, and doing so because you are holding onto a belief in your own mind that you actually 'need' this girl in order to be at ease. But this idea has no inherent reality, no concrete 'truth' to it. It's just an Idea; a Concept
Ask yourself why you have such low self esteem that you feel unable to be at ease with yourself unless you have a partner (or potential partner).
Some related discussion in the following post:
tinyurl.com/32hsys2
All the best, mate. You CAN be happy if you stop telling yourself you are incomplete without someone to serve as an emotional crutch. I'm not being harsh, just frank with you. You need to be frank with YOURSELF at this point, or you'll call yourself all manner of unnecessary anguish. |
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